Mother Uses Her Daughter's College Fund for Her Own Second Degree, Daughter Takes Her to Court

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    TWO TAKES r/TwoHotTakes u/adorable_axolotl • 4d I took my mom to court after she used my college fund for herself
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    I (21f) unfortunately lost my dad suddenly two years ago. My dad was an alcoholic so I didn't have a good relationship with him. He was often verbally and emotionally abusive to me as a kid, so I stopped talking to him about 2 years before he passed. His death came as a shock to me since I never thought he would pass away so young (he was 54). My dad didn't have any other children and my parents were divorced at the time of his death, and I am an only child who has no other relatives that I'm cl
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    Just a couple of days later, she started to complain about how I needed to move on and asking why do I care when he wasn't a good dad. She even said that I needed to care about the alive parent and not the dead one. Even though I wasn't speaking to him at the time of his passing, I still had a hard time accepting his death. In the back of my mind, I always thought at some point he would be able to overcome his addiction and come back to us as a changed person.
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    About a month after my dad's passing, my boyfriend. (27M, but he was 24 at this time) and I were up at his apartments picking up some paintings. We were getting ready to head back when I got a call from my mom. She told me that she was in the hospital because she had a stroke. This was at the end of COVID, so only one person was allowed to see her at the time. Luckily when I got there, she was recovering just fine. She had some trouble walking, but the doctors said she was going to be ok.
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    My mom was in the hospital for about a week. Over the first day, I was home alone. My boyfriend had to go back to his place because he was student teaching at the time and couldn't miss a lot of school. Because of my dysfunctional family growing up, I have struggled with mental health for my whole life. That first day being home alone was one of the scariest days of my life. I was still very much grieving over my father, and my mother had almost died. I didn't have any friends in the area at the
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    He wasn't able to stay with me because of school, so he decided to bring me back to his parent's place to stay until my mom was out of the hospital. He lived with his parents at the time and they both work from home, so I always had someone there with me while he was at school. My mom had her boyfriend visiting her every day, so she was not alone either.
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    Over the week my mom was in the hospital I called and texted her every day. I was also able to go visit her one more time after that. I am unable to drive so I had to wait for someone to take me to the hospital. Once she was better and released from the hospital, I went back home to help take care of her. Just like any stroke patient, she needed help doing basic things, and I was there for her as much as I was able to. She refused to get a temporary nurse/ caregiver to help her for some reason,
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    A couple weeks go by, and she is healing a lot and doesn't need as much help doing basic things any more, but I noticed her short tempore and anger wasn't improving. She constantly would argue with me over little things. Then one day we had a conversation about me going to my boyfriend's house while she was at the hospital. It turns out that she was holding a major grudge against me because she viewed that as me abandoning her and that I didn't do enough for her. I explained to her my side of th
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    She ignored all of my feelings and said that I was an ungrateful daughter and that I only care about the dead parent and not the alive one. I was so upset over this because I felt that my feelings did not matter to her, which is something I have always struggled with growing up with my mom. When I was a kid, whenever I was upset, a lot of the time she would tell me to get over it, or its not a big deal. One time when I had a panic attack, she shook me really hard and yelled at me to stop. But wh
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    Once school came around, I was not ready. I was still badly grieving and was super anxious to the point of panic attacks once I moved into the dorms. I hadn't been in dorms before so it was a lot to take in. I also relied on my college fund which my dad set up when I was born to pay for me to go to college. My mom, who had all the control over my college fund, started being weird when I texted her asking about when she going to pay out of the college fund for the term. I asked over and over agai
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    After dropping out and telling my mom that she missed the deadline, she told me that she was once again disappointed in me and that I wasn't allowed to move back in with her because I stress her out too much and she thinks I'm abusive. She also said that she was going to take the baseball cards that my dad collected with me, as well as some paintings he got in the divorce. My dad's baseball cards and paintings are the only physical items I was able to get from his apartment. I was absolutely dev
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    Over the next six months I attempted several times to contact my mom regarding my college fund as well as to get help with paying for my dad's burial of urn but got no answer (which still hasn't happened yet. He is in an urn at my boyfriend parents' house at the moment.) My mom also decided to take me off her insurance as soon as I was kicked out, so that was a fun surprise when I had a UTI and needed to go to the hospital.
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    It took a while for me to process everything, because over a month or two, I essentially lost my entire family and technically became homeless (if my boyfriend broke up with me at the time, I would have nowhere to go). I decided after 6 months that I was ready to go to community College. I also decided that one last time I was going to ask my mom about my college fund. When I went to ask my mom about it (over text) I was told that she had gone back to college, which I told her I was supportive o
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    So, there was no question on whether or not she could afford it on her own or not. I asked her how long have you been using my college fund and it turned out my mom had been using my college fund for herself since I last attended college before I had to drop out, which was 6 months ago. I was angry and ended up texting her, "How could you do this? Dad made that for me and you promised that it was mine." My mom in response texted back that I was disgusting and money hungry and that she needed it
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    Long story short, I was able to get a lawyer and the whole process took over a year to complete. Essentially, we had to redo their divorce and the dividing of the assets as well as claiming me as the beneficiary. She fought and stalled the whole time. This could have been done in a couple of months, but she stalled it to be over a year and cost both of us a lot of money because of it. I was able to strike a deal with my lawyer to not have to pay until the matter is over. I also had to take out a
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    As of today, I have not spoken or texted my mother in over two years. I am waiting for the retirement agency to process all of the retirement accounts to go to me, so I haven't seen any of the money other than the baseball cards and the paintings. My boyfriend and I moved out of his parents' house into an apartment. He's a full-time teacher now and I'm still working my way through college. Luckily financial aid has helped me out a lot. We have plans on getting married one day once things settle
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    busankart ⚫ 3d Your boyfriend and his family seem like awesome people. You will find you place in the world. Keep moving forward. Reply 94 Sparky62075. 3d OP is very lucky to have them. When I first saw the age gap, I felt a little concern that she could be taken advantage of. But it turns out that she's in a supportive relationship with a good man. It was very kind of his family to let her stay with them. ◇ 20
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    Healthy-Factor-2841 .3d Wow. Good for you! I'm you only got half of the $90k but you learned a valuable lesson about no longer having someone pretending to be your mom. I'm sorry you went through this but, it sounds like you're really moving forward now. Sending you a lot of love. Reply 147
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    sapioholicc⚫ 3d Such good news at the end. Glad you and your boyfriend are still in it together and growing strong. I hope his love can help you heal because I feel a lot of healing will be happening and that's a good thing. Good to know the justice system worked in your favor and made sure you got some of what your dad created and left for you. ← Reply ☑ 674
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    jakebro. 3d Your mother projected all her guilt and insecurities onto you. She made you out to be who she knows, deep down, she actually is - and by doing that to you and saying these things to you, it's as though she is confronting herself, almost. I think deep regret and remorse will find its way to her far too late for it to ever matter. It sounds like you handled things far more gracefully than many others would. I'm sure the outcome is bittersweet at best, but you have a lot to be proud of.
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    ForeverLTD. 3d Just wow, I'm glad this had a good ending for you, and I'm sorry you went through all of this. Some parents are absolutely awful human beings. I hope you can heal from this. Your mum will probably want to come back into your life. You can be amicable because she is your mum even though she was a complete monster, but never let your guard down. Put yourself first. If she had the chance to screw you over again, she'd do it. Reply 13
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    Cosmicshimmer • 3d The audacity of that woman to call your father names when she's literally no better than him. I'm glad you didn't just leave it and fought for what was yours/your fathers. She's a vile woman and you will do well to remember this when she comes back around because she will. Reply 69 ↓

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